Today is my first Mother’s Day! I’m so blessed to have this 3.5 month old in my life who I’ve been praying and dreaming of for a very long time.

I’ve been meaning to pick up the pace on blogging. Should I tell about our baby-making journey? Should I record the 10 month adventure of carrying our little one? Or, now that he’s here, what do we do now? The struggles that every mom talks about are real and I’m here living them. Again, so blessed. But something happened that I desperately need to write down.

Friday night D and I had our first moment. You know, the moment when your baby looks you straight in the eyes, no blinking, no moving, no smiles…just mesmerized. Thirty minutes earlier he had been fussy as he usually is leading up to bed time. But as his whines turned to screams (SCREAMS) and my soothing techniques didn’t work, I decided it was time for a bath. When I sat on the edge of the tub about to take off D’s diaper, he was rooting for my breast. So I decided again to see if he wanted to nurse and he did. As he recovered through the left over sobs and hiccups, I looked him over soaking up ever bit of him. After he was done, he lightly lifted his head, rested it on my breast, and stared straight at me. I said “Hi” to him no less than forty-five times like I’ve never told him Hi before and held him so tight so no one would steal him away. I couldn’t move, didn’t want to move, and yet how long should we sit there? It was like he Twilight imprinted on me. I am his forever.

I’ve told several people that I knew this child would need me but I never fully understood it until now…the true need he has for me. The unconditional love that even if I screw up, he’ll still love me. And, even now as I write this, I don’t even think I can put the immense feeling I’ve experienced down in writing.

This journey of motherhood is fun, exciting, overwhelming, exhausting…and I’m loving it. I love being a mom. I hope I can capture my experience here. And, if you want to join, I’ll be happy to share!